A Beginning and An End



Nancy


Healer
You became
The Father
Founder
And heart
A family
Forming
Growing
Around
Within
Your care
Your wisdom
Below

Leadership
Governance
Shared
Yet
Your title
Bespeaks
Regard
Respect
Admiration
Appreciation

~

I loved you
Truly
From the beginning
Throughout all the years
Happiness
Should have been
Ours
Unfair judgments
From too many parts
Severed us
Or was it
Your integrity
My cowardice

Youth
Errs
Too easily
I let it happen
Did you
Was choice
Yours
I ran
You could not
Follow
I believe
You would
Had you been free
Perhaps

Above
The hunters
Below
Safety
Grace
In all forms
You made
A World
A home
Gave yourself
To the place
To the people
To Vincent

Anonymous
Forgotten
In later years
Safe
Yet
You did not
Search
To find me
Able
Why did I not
Seek
Find you
Until one week
Remained
These 7 days
Seven days

Time to create
A universe
Barely time
To love

Forever
your Margaret



He raised the paper to his lips and kissed it reverently. Settling gingerly onto the edge of her bed, he closed his eyes. The pain was getting worse … the loneliness was killing him.

He’d sent Vincent Above to visit Catherine, convincing his son with brave words and the request that he be left alone for a little while. For his part, Vincent had promised to return early.

He was a good son, Jacob acknowledged, in a moment of clear thinking. Devin was coming home as well … another good, if different, son of his.

We should have had sons, Margaret
And daughters
We should have had a lifetime making memories … with years yet to come

He glanced at her pillow and ran his hand lightly over its surface. He saw her there as she’d been at the end ... peaceful, happy, grateful … her hand in his, safe and warm. But he hadn’t been able to keep her, to save her, and she’d passed on with his name and his kiss on her lips. He covered his eyes and sobbed.

Oh, Margaret
I am… alone

Gathering himself he pulled out a handkerchief and wiped away the evidence of his breakdown. Mary might come looking for him, checking on him, and it wouldn’t do to upset her with a tear-streaked face.

Be at the threshold, smiling at me, when I turn, Margaret
Tears blur my vision
Come, sit beside me
Read these, your words, aloud to me

He stared at her writing, at the testament she’d left for him when she knew it was the end. He’d found it after they’d held the burial service, when he’d returned to this chamber, hoping so desperately that it had all been a horrible nightmare and he’d find her waiting for him. He wanted it to be a nightmare, wanted it so hard that he thought it must happen. Yet it did not.

Tell me your thoughts
Let me hold you

They’d spent every moment together, jealously guarded each of them, hoarded them, as if such care could make them last forever. He’d come to know her then, the Margaret she’d become over a lifetime of experiences, apart from him. And he’d shared himself … everything … he wanted to give her everything he was … but they needed life’s years to do that … years of life together. A sob, muffled, hurt his chest.

Take my hand and we will know this world
It should have been ours

She’d been so impressed with everything he’d shown her of the world Below, so gracious to everyone, so readily accepted by everyone. And Vincent, Vincent was her favorite. A small smile touched his lips at the thought. And Mouse … Margaret had been enthralled by Mouse!

Come back to me
Let us cheat death as life so callously cheated us

Stiffly he rose, leaning on his cane, preparing to leave the hallowed place, her place, always. Vincent would return soon. He would await him back in his own chamber. This one, Margaret’s, would hold her essence. He would visit with her here. Find her here … one day … waiting … and that day he would be with her into eternity.

All the empty years between
And now
How many hopeless, empty years before me
I cannot bear it
I cannot

“Father.” It was Catherine’s gentle voice, her arm around his shoulder, caring and warm.

“Come. Let us help you,” Vincent said, leading him and Catherine out of the chamber.

“We’ll have some tea,” Catherine suggested. “We’d like to know her better … will you tell us about Margaret?”

When they eventually finished talking that night he was feeling a little less alone. He rose from his chair with Vincent’s help. Catherine had begun to gather their cups.

“There is barely enough time in one’s life to love well, Vincent.” He turned slowly toward his sleeping chamber, hesitated to look back and whispered, “Don’t wait too long.”


you know the secret, H

4 comments

  1. I love reading this again, Nancy. Father is so often left on the sidelines, and yet there is a man there, strong and lost, generous and needy. You've captured this moment beautifully.

  2. Thank you. Your praise is more eloquent than the piece! Nancy

  3. “There is barely enough time in one’s life to love well, Vincent.” “Don’t wait too long.”
    ~SIGH~
    Beautiful!

  4. Once again, thank you, Brit, for using your precious spare time to read my little story. I love Father and not too many fan fic writers seem to! Glad you enjoyed this. Now, go and write!!! Nancy

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